16 Best ‘Accounting’ Jokes, One-Liners, Facebook Status, WhatsApp Messages

1)

Four laws of accounting:

• Trial balances don’t.
• Working capital doesn’t.
• Bank reconciliations don’t.
• Return on investments don’t.

2)

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor: 
“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

3)

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks: “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”

4)

A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says, “Can I help? Have you lost something?” “No,” says one of the doctors. “We’re about to do a heart transplant on an accountant and we’re looking for a suitable stone.”

5)

An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

6)

Old accountants never die. They just lose their balance.

7)

Q: What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? 
A: Go into town and gang-audit someone.

8)

Q: What’s an extroverted accountant? 
A: One who looks at your shoes while he’s/she’s talking to you instead of his/her own.

9)

Q: There are three kinds of accountants in the world. 
A: Those who can count and those who can’t.

10)

Q: What’s a shy and retiring accountant? 
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s/she’s retiring.

11) 

Q: What does an accountant use for birth control? 
A: His/her personality.

12)

Q: Why don’t accountants read novels? 
A: Because the only numbers are page numbers.

13)

Q: What do accountants suffer from that others don’t? 
A: Self-depreciation.

14)

Q: When do accountants laugh out loud? 
A: When someone asks for a raise.

15)

Q: What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his/her hotel room? 
A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

16)

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? 
A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

By Amit B