- “Competitive salary” = We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
- “Must be deadline oriented” = You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
- “Some overtime required” = Some time each night and some time each weekend.
- “Must have an eye for detail” = We have no quality control.
- “Career minded” = Female Applicants must be childless and remain that way.
- “No phone calls please” = We’ve filled the job; our call for résumés is just a legal formality.
- “Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience” = You will, in fact, be replacing three people who have just left.
- “Problem solving skills a must” = You’re walking into a company which is in perpetual chaos.
- “Requires team leadership skills” = You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay nor the respect.
- “Good communication skills” = Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
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