25 Superb ‘BMS Campus Placement‘ Jokes, WhatsApp & Facebook Photos
1)
A BMSite was in a campus placement interview for a sales position and the manager handed him his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”
So the BMSite put it under his arm, walked out of the campus and went home. An hour later he called the BMSite and said, “Bring it back here right now!”
The BMSite said, Rs. 20,000 and it’s yours.”
2)
Bad Things To Never Include in Your Resume
- I’m really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.
- I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.
- I’ll kill myself if I don’t get a job.
- I know where you live.
- Any sentence beginning with “I was recently acquitted.”
- I’m really tall, so I think I’d be well suited to this job.
- By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters.
- I’m confident that I’ll get this job. The voices told me.
3)
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young BMSite fresh out of the College, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The BMSite replies, “In the region of Rs.12 lakhs a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer replies, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The BMSite sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
4)
Employer to BMSite: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” BMSite: “I’m the one you want. On my last internship, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
5)
A gal comes in for her interview with the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive her application. As the executive begins to scan her resume, he notices that she has been fired from every internship she’s ever held. “I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every internship.” “Yes,” says the lady. “Well,” continues the executive, “there’s not much positive in that.” “Well, ” says the woman as she pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter!”
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry level position.
His prospective boss asked, “Are you a smoker?”
“Not even a little,” said the young man.
“How about alcoholic beverages?”
“Never touch ‘em,” he replied.
The boss smiled and asked, “So you spend a lot of time with girls?”
The applicant said “No, not really.”
“So you don’t have any vices?”
“Well, I do have one,” he admitted.
“And what would that be?” the boss asked.
“I tell lies.”
Campus Placement Memes :
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