1)Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says “Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.” The photographer went first. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The journalist went next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the editor’s turn. “And what would your wish be?” asked the genie. “I want them both back after lunch” replied the editor, “the deadline for tomorrow’s newspaper is in about ten hours.
2) A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.” The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
3) “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” – Jerry Seinfeld
4) Q: What do you call a journalist with a Ph.D.?
A: Artificial intelligence.
5) Q: Why do so many newspaper reporters date TV news anchors?
A: It makes them feel superior.
6) Q: What do you call a newspaper reporter with a TV reporter on either side?
A: An interpreter.
7) Q: What’s the difference between a professional boxer and a journalist?
A: The boxer sustained brain damage AFTER taking up his vocation.
8) Q: How can you tell when a TV reporter is visiting your home for a story interview?
A: You’ll see somebody wandering around in your yard, because he doesn’t know where to come in.
9) Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 journalists.
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