 I was woken up to the sobs of my friend at 11 in the night. ‘How could he do this to me?’ she spoke on the phone in between of all the crying and hurling of abuses. It took me 10 mins to reach the sane world and around half an hour to make her calm down. Finally around 12 I convinced her that it’s late at night and I cannot meet her as my parents wouldn’t allow me to step out even at the pretext of an emergency of her break up. At last she agreed to meet me the next day at CCD over a cup of coffee and spill her heart out to me.
I woke up early and readied myself for a really long conversation which would definitely be accompanied by a lot of sobs. With all the required equipment (tissues, napkins, chocolate, glares, etc) I reached CCD at 10 sharp. I believe it’s unfair to make someone with a broken heart to wait for you. And there she came with messed up hair, red eyes which scared me and tears running down her eyes. We hugged and with that began what I call the break up saga. The next 3 hours my friend vomited her sadness and anger while gulping umpteen amount of coffee but she only found solace in the chocolate pastry we ordered by the end.
That evening while feeling bad for my friend it suddenly dawned on me that I am being such a fool. In their 3 year relationship she never shared the date nights, movies, or all the love and acre her then boyfriend showered upon her. She obviously flaunted each and every gift he gave her on her birthday and Valentine ’s Day. But never mentioned how she lied at home and sneaked out with him for long drives. She also failed to mention the resort and farmhouse trips unless coaxed.
Why do I sympathise with her or others like her who need friends shoulder only to cry on and complain about their relationship? Why blame just the guy or the person who breaks up in the event of a break up? We all just believe in highlighting the highs and sharing the break up details but never mention the good times. We always shy away from sharing about happy and romantic times in a relationship but are the first to scream from the rooftop after the break up.
I believe its human nature. We are always ready to criticize and pull down someone but don’t have the heart to openly appreciate anyone. Is it fair to spill the beans after the break up? To embarrass the person we once loved? To gossip and curse the person we once were the closest too?
It takes a big heart and grace to deal with a break up properly. It is very important to set aside the differences and move on. And those who call their ex mean and bad for dumping them just remember that you are doing no good by bitching about them to your friends. Always be positive love will knock your door again. Its just a break up, not the end of the world!
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Anjani M Nautiyal
it feels the same when promises are made and not kept and even broken