Insecurity is that feeling of fear of losing someone. Insecurity is another disastrous feeling that makes you crazy. It makes you go insane. You don’t know what to do when you get such a feeling. It impacts your mind and body. You become a little paralyzed from the brain well not literally. But you think from a different angle. You don’t know what’s happening to you. Insecurity usually happens in relationships and so on. Relationships are delicate like glass. Insecurities are bound to happen in relations. Insecurities happen in all kinds of relationships even in friendships. Sometimes we take things too lightly and sometimes we just complicate things by thinking over it again and again.
Insecurity happens because may be your partner has cheated on you so much so that you know what can he do and how much potential he has to do it again. Once a cheater always a repeater is what we actually see and it is very true. Unless he is really guilty and really had fallen into the ditch and has understood what you could have gone through he will not do it.
While you are insecure you tend to do other stuff like imposing restrictions
- Doubting your partner
Your relationship is going smooth sailing everything is fine until that element of doubt comes on your partner. You seem to be so disturbed mentally that you draw out conclusions. You doubt your partner with every friend of hers even if it may be a far off cousin.
Doubting your partner can lead to failure in the relationship. Relationships should be handled with the uttermost care. You are insecure but by doubting you doubt the loyalty of the person.
- Getting into bad habits
To overcome your insecurity you may get into such bad habits that you may do wrong things like flirting. You get jealous to see your girlfriend having so many male friends and in that insecurity you end up flirting just to make her jealous is the worst thing you could do. Trust me you never know she may be talking to her male friends about you so that she could understand how men think and so that she could probably even plan a surprise for you. If you ruin it up by flirting with another it’s the end of it then. You may also start excessive drinking in this insecurity issues and end up fighting with your partner and say sometime bad that you must not ever say.
- Cutting your wrist etc.
A lot of people in love cut their wrist. If this is love then love is dangerous and harmful. As harmful as poison itself. People do it to prove their love but insecurity also makes you do such stupid stuffs. It’s good to show your love but it should be expressed in a better way.
- Trying to cheat
Insecurity ruins the peace in your mind. You try to cheat because you feel insecure and you feel you will be left lonely in the end. You start looking out for girls and date them try to get them in bed and land up physically cheating and also mentally cheating your partner. Even a small little message that gives the wrong signs may of getting into bed and stuff ruins it all you never know how much you may mean to that girl and just because of your insecurity you lose it all.
Steps to follow to remove insecurity.
- Talk it out
Relationships that have insecurity issues must talk it out. It often happens that one partner whose insecure tries to explain her state of being to him and tries to make him realise that look I have an insecurity issue. While the other gets more irritated and agitated at the fact that she is insecure. But one should understand that we all fear losing something, it may be job, parents, health or your partner and the one you love. Her insecurity of losing might be the relationship or the main essence of trust. It is important to know how your partner feels. Many times we don’t even know if our partner is comfortable with us or no. we don’t even have the slightest clue if she trust him. That’s where talking it out and knowing and justifying the opposite person helps you remove the fights and the tension.
- Keep faith and trust
You must trust the person when you get insecure. It is because that is what ruins it, the element of faith and trust goes out to be missing. That’s one thing that can make everything possible. Trusting someone is good but trusting someone blindly is bad. No matter how loyal your partner is you never know when they might end up changing. If your partner says she’s loyal doesn’t always mean she is you can judge her by her actions. Actions speak louder than words, you must trust her actions. If you realise she isn’t giving you that much attention that she used to the way she once did then may be someone has got attention and you are in the making of losing her.
- Make her more secure
Keep a track of who all your girlfriend associates with. She may not tell you about everybody but certainly you can find out. This usually happens in the case of guys where the boy lies and may be hides but it is very common even in girls. If she is insecure make her more secure, so the things that can remove insecurity from your life. Announce her to your family and close relatives. If you cannot do it and it’s too early you can introduce her as your girlfriend to your colleagues that’s something a girl likes. She may be having her own identity but being called the woman you love must be the greatest and the most beautiful identity you could give her.
Insecurity is good as it makes you realise how much you love a person, it also makes your partner realise that she doesn’t want to lose me and it also gives your partner to do things to you that make you feel secure.
BY CARREN BRYNE.
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