One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca
There a more than a thousand quotes and good reads on friendship written by great philosophers, speakers, thinkers and all noble men. The Bollywood fraternity has plethora songs written and sung on friendship which touch are hearts and are always on our lips. The reason I started with this particular phrase is because the ability to understand each other in a relation is not just a beautiful quality but it is indeed the most important prerequisite of friendship. Unless the roots of understanding are not deep inside the soil of love and care, people can be easily blinded by things like misunderstanding and communication gap. Trust can be said as the strong fence inside which can blossom the garden of true friendship. Another important feature of friendship is the mutual agreement not by force but by choice. It is very important to put your heart out and speak what you actually want to and do what you actually desire for. Transparency is a great lesson taught by this beautiful relation and to behold the spirit of being honest is the greatest tribute.
Any relation on Earth must start with friendship. Randomness never really touches any one’s heart, but it is the genuineness which woos one’s heart and soul. There are numerous relations we come across; someone is our mother, our father, brother, sister and so many others. Mother and daughter bond is the most supreme; father and son’s bond is beyond any strength- all these phrases only are true if there exists real sense of amity. Has anyone yet realised though, that the bond of these relations is strong or weak depending upon the latent friendship in them. If I don’t have faith in my sister, will I be able to take care of her? If I don’t understand my brother, will I be able to forgive him in case of any silly fun-fight between us? Never! It is so basic in nature, yet small things are usually considered unimportant. Only once the roots of faith and understanding are shaken, then can one comprehend the core substance of these elements and their significance.
On the occasion of friendship day, which I personally think is highly overrated, I wish not only all my friends but also all the friendships around the globe; hats off to the ability to have a big and warm heart! Friendship Day, celebrated on the first Sunday of August, is a day when the shopkeepers in the market have the greatest start-up of the month with huge sales on things like wrist bands which are too colourful and funny looking to wear the rest of the days of the year, seriously. If this wasn’t enough, to add to the glory all the general stores, a concept like friendship week came in too, ergo more sales more happiness more enthusiasm only on the faces of the shopkeepers. You definitely are thinking what kind of cold-blooded person am I to say such sarcastic words but I can’t help it either. It is not that I myself never purchased those things called friendship bands, but I pretty soon realised they reminded me of hand-cuffs symbolising I am bound to be a friend at least for a couple of months till he/she forgets he/she gave me this flimsy band thing! Obnoxious words, even bitter experiences trust me.
Friendship is freedom of thought and expression, confinement of gloom, emergence of honesty and trust and most importantly reading and understanding other’s heart not when they are happy but when the rain pours on them. This relationship needs to put yourself in others shoes to analyse their point of view, their share of cake and not eat it!). But realistically, for this you must first remove your shoes; meaning that friendship never invites ego. Ego is the best repels true friendship. It is like a weapon, slicing through each and every thread of that beautiful meaningful relation, it devastates not just the relation but the hearts attached to it. There is a catchy phrase, “in friendship no sorry no thank you”. Some people think it is the way to behave formally and friendship means casual informal behaviour and it might hold some sense too. However, I personally am against this phrase and concept. I believe a relation’s basic strength is trust and also respect. Being humble in a relation is also important. Two words might not mean anything when everything is fine in a relation, but once the friendship sails in a storm, it will wreck only and only because of the failure to understand the significance of ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’. So, it is like a smile to a smile reaction, you take just two seconds to say it and it gets registered in other’s mind for a million years. I think we should all give it try to say these words to our dear once to strengthen the bond of our friendship keeping in mind that these words are not just heard by your buddies but the God itself who has sent to you these angels. Treasuring them is our duty.
A single day cannot at all fulfil the desire to express a person’s true feelings to his friends or closed ones. It is the rest of the 364 days which actually count. Sympathy to a friend is nothing more than a slow drug to kill. It is, however, the empathy which will make one’s friend strong and wise. Nothing matters more than a tender hug, a strong shoulder and a helping hand. The point to remember is that nothing like best friend exists in this world. If one is truthful, modest and polite to the other with a genuine feeling of care; the bond by whatever name it might be called by others, will be nothing but a legendary friendship.
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
-Henri Nouwen
– Asawari Savarikar
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