The Common Paradox – Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage?


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Marriage is a very big thing and sooner or later we all reach the stage where we have to say, ‘I do’. What differs is some of us already have that special person with whom we want to spend our lives while some are still finding the one. The journeys are different but the destiny is the same – marriage. However it’s difficult to compare which one is easy since both the types of marriage deal with their fair share of complexities.

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Those who don’t find love or are the ones who want to get married the traditional way or as per the wishes and choice of their parents opt for arranged marriage. It’s a very old concept in India where two families meet with the motive of making a suitable match. It’s the families who decide everything if the boy and girl like each other. Lately arranged marriages have remerged due to various reasons and more and more people want to marry the person who is the choice of his/her parents. The advantage is that the entire family background is checked and since families are involved there are many things which are taken care of. But the other side to it is that in case the marriage falls apart the individual ends up blaming the family for it.

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As the word suggests it is the union of 2 people who love one another. These 2 individuals want to spend their life together and thus either with or without the families blessings get married. Love marriages have been prevalent from a very long time. However what has changed lately is the society’s perspective towards it. The society has become more welcoming and started accepting love marriages but it all depends from family to family. I think the release of the movie 2 States which was adapted from Chetan Bhagats novel was a classic example of love marriage in India, need I say more. The advantage is that the individuals know each other and want to spend their life together. The other side is that if the marriage falls apart the individual is blamed for his/her choice.

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There is no tried and tested rule for the success of marriage whether it is love or arranged. However the secret ingredient is love, care, patience, understanding, trust, etc. Mix all of these in the right proportion to make a yummy marriage.

–        Anjani M Nautiyal


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namrata desai

16 Comments

  1. Hi Anjani! Love or Arranged marriage for you? May be it’s too early for you to decide. But if u ask my views I will always vote for Love marriage in today’s world. In old times the situation was altogether different. Marriage was to bring together two families of same religion, same caste, same social status and so on. But hardly there was any consideration for the two minds which are going to live the life together. The rule was simple – ACCEPT, ADOPT & SURVIVE!( U can say the “ASS” Rule). No matter what hardship you face and how u live.

    In today’s world it’s not so. Everybody first concentrate on being self dependent, take on the world and get going. In this rush, you meet so many people, work with them, judge them in different circumstances and also make friends and have fun. I m always of the opinion that the feeling that someone should be your life partner, should come from within! You should never marry just because you have to marry and settle down for the sake of society or family. “Life Partner” is a larger concept and your heart should give you the first nod that means “dil mai ghanti bajani chahiye”
    Of course these are my views! I am afraid, my comments are becoming more lengthy than your original article!
    Once againt appreciate and congratulate you for the article!

  2. Dear Anjani,
    The best way according to me for best marriage life one should strive to follow this sequence in life that is first friend, lover, wife, friend.

    I have seen so many cases of disaster marriage whether its love or arranged no matter.
    Also very good example of arranged & love marriage. The success formula is same…treat your partner with respect & do all without expecting any thing much in return.

    Stand by your partner in the thick & thin hours. No one is perfect in this world so why to single out wife or husband. Allow space for each other & let live life king size.

    End of the day…there is no life without wife….cheers.


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